“You cry, you scream, you breathe, you learn.” 

Rejection is painful, heart wrenching, soul crushing and it’s one of the facts of life. On the flip side, rejection  allows one  to develop tolerance to pain and to an ego assault. Rejection is an opportunity for learning through  experience although it can be a difficult, sometimes excruciating  lesson allowing one to feel  deflated and  defeated.  And,  although  rejection is a relatable, human shared experience, it can bring on  reactions such as, self isolation,  self shame,  resentment and even guilt.   

Some people take a licking and keep on ticking but,  others may  experience feeling  wounded,  immobilized, frozen or broken after being  rejected.    There is another  response that a smaller subset may experience – for some feelings of  hostility,  vengefulness and vindictiveness can emerge.

The best scenario is, when one experiences  rejection,  it is viewed as an opportunity to learn, to grow, to become more intuitive, to make better choices  and  to  come out on the other side better and unscathed.  As Alanis Moisesette says, “You cry, you scream you breathe, you learn.”  Many of the the experiences where we encounter rejection, (whether it be rejection from a job interview, an invitation to a party or a love interest) stimulate the same kinds of negative energy. But, in actuality,  some good and some positivity can come out of  rejection, since there is an opportunity to learn from  the experience, even if it’s an emotionally challenging or costly lesson.

For some, it is an embarrassment to be rejected, because on the most part, here are always some negative emotions involved in rejection.  Although it can be difficult to resolve  those feelings , once resolved  it can open  a door to moving past most of the grief, anger or resentment. But, everyone doesn’t resolve feelings in the same way. There are some people who may  feel a need to respond and they may feel they need  revenge. Although, with this route, the behaviors and energy involved can  extend dealing with the negative emotions, a two edged sword so to speak. But all is  not loss if one wants revenge. There is the idea of getting revenge through positive emotions–the idea that although you lost, the lost was double sided, as they lost you. 

Rejection can inspire you to examine your weakness/es and  strength/s.  Rejection is an opportunity to  enhance your strengths and find ways to manage your unhealthy vulnerabilities.  

Love yourself, even when you think no one else will

As in exercise – pain can lead to gain  

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Rejection can  encourage  reflection, revision, renewal, resilience,   and reward

Rejection can bring reflection, inspiring   revisions, renewal, resilience and reward.  One  may become a better version after rejection:mentally, physically, intellectually, interpersonally and emotionally. So try not to think of rejection as a bad thing – but a  neutral or good thing as it’s an opportunity for critique, to get better. Look at rejection as a  motivator. Rejection can lead to resilience and reward. 

Remember, a little (self)  defensiveness is in order. It’s not necessary to take on guilt or shame when rejected. Love yourself even when you think no one else does. 

MamasBestAdvice © 2023

Mama(cita)SezWisdom™

Atlanta, Georgia 

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