Mama’s Best Advice: Words of Wisdom Digest
I awoke one morning and felt ill. My stomach was queasy and I saw the room spinning…a little. I reached for a few sips of water and felt a tiny bit better. Then, looking for support, I made a few phone calls, I needed to share the words, “I don’t feel well,” but, none of the calls provided the reassurance I needed. I needed a hand to hold.
I felt alone—not lonely, an emotion I know well, the familiar emptiness that would start in my gut and move me to tears. I’d learned to manage those moods with good self care. No, this was strikingly different. It was mindfulness, I was alone, single, not dating – and for a half a second I felt it viscerally. It was surreal, I was alone. And, in that moment of mindfulness, there was no spiritual energy reminding me that God was there…it felt awkward, like I’d been duped into believing that I had it all together and then learning that I’d forgotten something and all the stores were closed and I wouldn’t be able to get what I needed.
At that moment, I lay in bed as I’m anxiously accepting the reality and, I consider that it feel good and it is scary. But as all things have purpose – this acknowledgement was eye opening.
To be clear, I think of myself as a “boss;” I have friends I can call, all sorts of friends, those who are unattached, platonic friends: male, female, gay, and straight— so I knew the feeling of aloneness was not a lack of having someone to talk to. It was that I didn’t have a hand to hold.
I own my own home, cars, business – and I am rarely feeling lonely because I have things to do and people I can talk to. But alone I am. And so, in the quietness of the night there is no hand to hold, no person laying next to me, that I can enjoy, watching, touching or being next to as he sleeps. And, I am being humbled to acknowledge that all the other things that I have are great but without a hand to hold there is something extremely important missing in my life.
I began to consider the differences in feeling lonely and feeling alone. I’d never realized the nuances that made those two things so completely different in a way that at this moment they were combined to create a deep hole in my stomach, a yearning in my heart and a reality in my head –this was a powerful event for me. I was physically alone but not disconnected from friends or family, all that meant nothing because the fact is, at that moment, I was craving a hand to hold.
I felt as if I was holding a puzzle piece with no inkling of where it belonged on the board. I needed a place to fit the piece in; I needed to find where it belonged to solve the puzzle and I could not consciously allow the puzzle to go unsolved.
I became willing to move beyond my comfort in dealing with what I’d probably earlier would have considered to be a random piece to now accepting that instead I was dealing with a vital missing link. There was someone…somewhere waiting for me: with their hand waiting openly, there was a hand to hold.
In the Huffington Post, article “The Science Behind The Profound Power Of Holding Hands,” (May 2016) the article supports the idea that hand holding has positive impacts on our brains, our relationships and our physical health, and is associated with lowering blood pressure and oxytocin, known to be the love hormone. The touch of someone’s hand can reduce fear and stimulate feelings of trust.
Mama's best advice: Words of Wisdom- Mamaste.blog 