Mama's best advice:Healing Words of Wisdom

Self Understanding, Healing, Health, Hope and Happiness


Love, Any Love

Mama’s  Best Advice: Words of Wisdom Digest

‘Tis better to have love and lost, 

Than not to have love at all?

 (Alfred, Lord Tennyson) 

by Wandra Chenault, Mama(cita)SezWisdom  on September 04

Is it better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all? 

Luther Vandross performed the song “Any Love,” and he had it right. I had or maybe I still have the biggest crush and,   it has been a breath of fresh air.  My romance with love gives off sensations that stimulate positive emotions — it’s been beneficial by raising my untapped energy and hope. The rewards surprised me. 

I’ve tried to understand why this has been a more positive experience than a negative one because the person who has raised my vibrations doesn’t have a clue and so I’m running on my own energy. 

One reason is that my glass is at least half full,  I’ve learned that interest can ignite the brain’s fireworks. There is a pause between running a race and winning–and in–the pause is the possibility to win. But I’ve, also,  learned the act or idea of wanting to play or for this metaphor, run a race,  is motivation in itself.  

Love or the idea of love — infatuation — can open a door to a  room or place you could not before imagine or visualize. The emotion, of love, is one of the most intense feelings l will ever experience. It generates deep psychological and physical benefits like helping me get good sleep, charging my immune response, and increasing my tolerance to stress. And, positive emotions offer positive energy—like a good boost of dopamine – the happiness brain chemical. 

Good energy is healing and if you get that – even if it’s only a tiny dose, it makes you feel good and the feeling can sustain, like the extended capsule of a pain reliever. 

A good innocent crush can be the right medicine for an achy heart. It’s refreshing and there’s virtually no downside. The stimuli can rev you up, it’s motivation.  Especially when you’ve been stuck on empty, a crush can be enough fuel in your tank to get you up and running, on the road again. 

Feeling the crush prepares the runway for the plane you didn’t know you’d be flying, —-taking you somewhere great but you didn’t know how to get started. Real love or even pseudo love like infatuation can be spice to your tastebuds, awakening different sensations; your eyes open and you realize, it’s good you got to taste that, even if you never do it again. 

You don’t have to justify or ignore your feelings of love for someone, consider this:

Rumi the 13th-century poet wrote,

The minute I heard my first love story,

I started looking for you, not knowing

how blind that was.

Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.

They’re in each other all along.” (Rumi)

Harvard studies have discovered through research and science that the benefits of love, whether lust, attraction, or attachment all positively boost brain chemicals. Brain chemicals help us cope with life.

So although some of these feelings are temporary or can fade, you can also ask yourself a few questions, how far can I go on this, can I get more of it or do I need to seriously look for a new source? 

If there’s a possibility that the crush can lead to love then, you’re one of the lucky ones.  If it won’t or it doesn’t, they consider all the good it’s provided. Butterflies, deep stares,  and warm smiles are priceless, good for mental and physical health, and can be a reminder to let you know you‘re capable of feeling a connection. 

Sometimes it’s the ‘break glass.’ 

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When love doesn’t enter the room but helps to get the door open,  staying in the game means you may still win. So, yes,  it is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. 

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Atlanta, Georgia 30331


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